Wednesday, 9 October 2013

IS SEX “ALL FOR HIM”?


In today’s article I will want to ask you question. When you have sex with your husband, do you feel like you’re doing him a favor? Has sex become something that’s “for him”?
Many women feel that way. And not just that; they also feel proud of themselves when they do “give him sex”. He should be grateful!
I think this is an understandable attitude, but also a dangerous one that we should fight against.  
I have heard so many comments from women especially some corporate working wives.
My husband doesn’t know how to show me love the way I want it. But he wants sex all the time, never considerate! But because he doesn’t show me love, I just can’t get into it. So we rarely have sex. And then when we do, he isn’t even THANKFUL AND APPRECIATING.
But from researches, it has been verified that enjoying sex starts from the mind-'it is all about the mind. I DO ASK WOMEN IF THEY EVER THINK OR FANTASY ABOUT LOVE MAKING WITH THEIR SPOUSES? Much of sex is attitude for women. When your heads-thought (mind) is in the game, your bodies usually follow. When your mind isn’t in the game, it isn’t very much fun. If you’re resentful of your husband, or you’re having sex just “to get him off of my back”, then it’s unlikely to be a fun experience for you and also for him, yes he may be physical satisfied but emotionally drained, because he is going to know that you are not fully involved. And he’s going to feel betrayed and cheated, not wanted. This is a time bomb, about to explode; it is just a matter of time. God design sex in marriage to be enjoyed by both parties that is why he created the woman from the man. Scientifically it has been proved that women have more nerves and hormones to enjoy sex, if only they can work and appreciate the power of the mind in love making.
if we’re treating sex like it’s a reward, then we’re withholding love from them. And that is extremely hurtful.
I believe that the root of many marriage problems later on is a disconnect when it comes to making love. Making love is not something optional that we add to our marriages when things are good. It is something that we should be doing consistently, regularly, throughout our marriages, because it is part of what keeps our marriages good. And it is so very important for husbands.
If you’re married to a guy who doesn’t want sex, I know that is so humiliating and discouraging, and I have a series of posts or counsel on that, although something is really wrong, I believe that God created both men and women with sex drives. We both should yearn to make love. However, in general, men’s sex drives are more physically urgent. If their bodies don’t get sexual release, their bodies will actually do it for them during the night periodically. And men are much more visually stimulated than women are. They are supposed to be aroused fairly easily, because it gives them an impetus to really pursue women.
But if he’s the one who wants it more, I want to encourage you to think of sex not as something that you do for him, but as something that you do for both of you.
Ø  It will bring you closer together.
Ø   It helps him feel closer to yourself.
Ø  It  helps you feel more positively about him.
Ø   It helps you to sleep better. It helps you feel more invigorated about life.
Ø   It keeps you happier and healthier.
 It may seem difficult to get to the point where you see sex as something beneficial for you, and not just for him. Honestly ask yourself this question, “do I treat sex like I’m doing him a favor?” And if the answer is yes, then examine your heart and start praying that God will help you to see things differently–that this is something that you do for both of you, because it helps you, too!